Smoking Jokes

Smoking and Acupuncture…

My husband, Stan, decided to give up smoking but needed help to overcome the habit. He consulted an acupuncture specialist, who inserted small needles at specific points in both his ears. “When you feel like smoking,” he told Stan, [...]

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Smoking and Stairs…

“I’ve got a friend who’s been smoking for years. He gets really out of breath climbing up the steps to his flat….. So I told him ‘Just ask them to put in a ramp instead…. You are on the ground floor, after [...]

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Time Changes Everything…

Q: What’s the difference between the 1960’s and the 2000’s? A: In the 1960’s, a guy goes into a chemist shop and shouts, “Give me a packet of cigarettes!” … and then whispers to the shop assistant, “Oh, and slip [...]

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Smoking and Computers…

A guy is standing on the corner of the street smoking one cigarette after another. A lady walking by notices him and says “Hey, don’t you know that those things can kill you? I mean, didn’t you see the giant [...]

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Smoking on a plane…

Notice displayed on a plane: There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will assume you are on fire and put [...]

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Smoking Quickies…..

Nicotine addiction is like an itch. If you itch, it’s nice to scratch it. But better to have no itch at all. ~~ Dali Lama (adapted) “Smoking Kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life” [...]

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Quit Smoking – use Patches….:)

A young woman confides to a friend that she wants to quit smoking, but nothing she does seems to work. “Have you tried the patch?” her friend asks. “No, that’s one thing I haven’t tried,” the woman says, “because I’m not [...]

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The Lab Rabbit….

A rabbit escaped from the research laboratory where he had been born and bred. On his first taste of freedom, he met a group of wild rabbits frolicking in a field. “Hi,” he said, introducing himself, “I’ve escaped from the [...]

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